Friday, February 26, 2010

Sexual Frustration

6:03 pm
Just sitting at work.
No motivation what so ever.
I have a boyfriend that is true,
But a girl can lust can't she?
He's cute, really fucking cute. Only one problem (besides me being already taken) He has a girlfriend yet he "says" he wants to leave her. He comes problem number two, he lives with her; understand this he can't just up and heave her cause that leaves him with no place to go.
Too bad I don't have my own place (and if I was single) So now I'm stuck in this predicament. Lusting after a guy I can't have and being ignored by a guy I do.
Well I guess there really isn't a problem besides sitting at work really horny, but then again, all those problems can be solved with one text, a trip to the bathroom. Yet, there's a catch I have no willing participants, at least not one I like.
Don't get me wrong i like my boyfriend I guess I'm just not satisfied and I know I should just talk to him...blah..blah..blah but how do you tell your boyfriend that you sexually unsatisfied?... You just don't you go to your nearest erotic store and buy a vibrator.
So its now 6:18pm and i am still horny with not a care in the world. Well besides getting laid. So i guess I'm just out of luck. Horny, unsatisfied and now depressed. Tonight I was suppose to be with my boyfriend having fun and making love (no matter how bad it is.
But now it seems I'm going to be playing third wheel with my co-worker and her boyfriend. Even more depressing.
Turning 18 soon about a week til awesomeness. How am I going to spend it? I don't fucking know. Hoping to get laid.
I realise that I have sex on my brain and fucking a lot but really who can blame me. I'm thinking about calling up the taken guy. I know I should be calling my boyfriend but he is sick at the moment (the reason we aren't hanging out tonight)
But now here's the climax, my taken lust god has a thing for my co-worker (who if you forgot has a boyfriend) lol.
Oh well I guess it's karma or fate or over all not meant to be.
(damn it it took forever to write this too many customers @ work)
- 8:12 pm forty-eight more minutes til I get off.

Riddle me this...

So I spend so much time creating something out of nothing,

I'm not angry just upset.

I really have no reason to be angry besides the fact that I HATE you.



things I hate about you

#1- You blame the world for your problems; accountability is not in your vocabulary.

#2- You have no job, $700 a month from unemployment doesn't pay the bills

#3- Your fat (not that I have problems with overweight people, but tell me this how can a person get gastric bi pas surgery to shrink your stomach to the size of an egg and still somehow manage to gorge themselves to the point that they stretch their stomach back to regular size?)

#4- You complain ( don't get me wrong I complain about things too but you don't see me complaining about EVERY FUCKING THING.)

#5- You say I'm the reason your marriage is failing. WRONG. The reason your marriage is failing is because you don't do shit to stop it from failing. All you do is sit on the computer and waist time playing video games instead of getting off your lazy ass and getting a job. I'm 17 i have a job a car (that I make payments on) and I'm still in fucking high school. What is your excuse? That's right you don't have one. There is no excuse for this none what so ever. You go to church to get the pastor on your side but everyone can see right threw you.


I hate you. I never did like you. You are not worth my time.
Glad I got this off my chest.

Thursday, February 25, 2010

Recap

HE: Then
HIM: Now



1. He broke my heart
2. He says I'm warped
3. He's an addict
4. He SAYS I'm WARPED
5. Still says he loves me
6. Thinks I'm obsessed
5. He got fired from work
4. He fucking called me WARPED?
3. I think I still love him
2. I want him to change
1. AM I WARPED?


So I have someone that makes me happy
He makes things go back to the basics
No games no complications

But I miss the challange, I miss the pain
AM I really that WARPED?

I get it I'm broken
I get I need...affection and attention and love
He is giving that to me
But I need...pain heartache, drama, and decet
He gave that to me

Stuck in a cross road between
Something I can get and something
I will never recieve.