Sunday, June 27, 2010

Say What?

I am not understanding where I am standing.
The other day, well ,more like the night before last so Friday night I'm with my boyfriend amazing night of hotness/romance (it was perfect). I told him that I loved him first time to his face...didn't end too well lets just say he fell asleep after asking me why I said that then I was up for 3 hours staring to the window wondering why I was even there. Completely resisting the urge to go in the bathroom borrow his razor and "cry".
I couldn't
Though I wanted to don't get me wrong I wanted to I wanted to put my pain into action. But I just couldn't all I could do was sit on the floor next to his bed and let a single tear fall.
What's funny about all this is that he didn't even know what was wrong or that anything was wrong.
Next morning it was like nothing ever happened. I was fine and I was happy but that was all a lie. I wish I could tell him what I am saying here.

Ugh I love him. Fuck every other guy that I wrote about on here I didn't understand what I was feeling but right now I know for the first real time in my life I want to spend the rest of my life with him. fgkoaeshjkghskop I dislike this so much.

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