Tuesday, January 25, 2011

i am tired...

Of everyone expecting me to be perfect. Im not not allowed to be angry im not allowed to be upset. And the minute i stand up for myself my phone gets blown up with calls from my family saying im wrong and that im going to hell cause god doesnt approve. So god approves others hurting me? Their logic makes no sense. Im ready to pack up and move far away from their judgemental hypocritical eyes. They wonder why im never home, this is why because all that happens is they point out something else that is wrong with me. If this is how ots going to be then i dont want to be any where near it. I am so done.
Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.5

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

i cant

Function anymore i really just want to curl up into a ball and just cry til the point that all my tears are gone and all that is left is an empty shell of the person i once was.
Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.5

Sunday, January 16, 2011

my boyfriend

of over eight months, doesn't love me...

Thursday, January 6, 2011

SO its a new year.

I am starting this year off and right now I am at 145 :( I know I'm huge.
But to get things off right I just got back from the gym I ran 4.5 miles and I plan to go that again and as much as I can til I drop about 30lbs. I am trying to only eat about 1500kcal a day. I am eating six times a day to keep my metabolism boosted.
Wish me luck :)