Saturday, February 26, 2011

He wants to get me a gym membership

My boyfriend wants to get me a gym membership for my birthday, he will pay for six months of it. Apparently he does not like the way I look. I am trying I really am. But I cant seem to keep my weight down and this stress is not helping much either.

Sunday, February 20, 2011

Weight Watchers

I'm thinking about joining, what do you think?

Last night was...upsetting

Basically what happened was that my boyfriend told me that he couldn't trust me completely because he doesn't trust anyone including his mother 100%. Earlier that day he told me that he thought he loved me but wasn't too sure. After he told me that he couldn't trust me. I knew he didn't love me and I told him that I can't live with someone that doesn't trust or love me. Telling him that hurt me a lot I lied in bed crying and then he kissed me and before I knew it we were having sex.
I'm not sure why we did it but I woke up wondering about it and I am still thinking about it now.
I do love him, I love him more than anything. And we've been together for almost a year now.
It just makes me feel disgusting and worthless. It makes me want to throw up knowing that he doesn't feel the same way about me. At all.

Thursday, February 17, 2011

I know that I have been gone a while

I have been working a lot more and trying to get more school work done and spend more time with the boyfriend.
But for a slight update...
family life: has not changed there is still a lot of tension
School: i dropped a class because it made my work load too heavy
Work: they are giving me more hours but i doubt that that will last very long.
Love life: we will be together a year in may, and no i love you yet. not even in the valentines day present. so i believe that that is a lost cause.